The road is full of Idiots” says the ad of a renowned tyre company. One of the very few ads which makes sense, but they did not quite elaborate. That is where I step in. So, let’s look at five different types of idiots we have on our roads.
1 . The Annoying L-Boarders: Ok, these guys are not really idiots. I mean they are learning something new, kudos to them. But the stuff what they do on roads is at times extremely irritating for the seasoned guys. Driving at 20kmph on free roads, that sudden acceleration, the brake out of nowhere, horrendous parking skills. Phew, I can go on. The roads will be a better place without them. Do you practice runs at night my dear L-Board people.
2 . The “My vehicle is more expensive than yours, that makes the road mine” guy: These idiots are similar to the “I have a DSLR and I am a photographer” people. They somehow get one of those “Superbikes” or BMWs and Audis and literally run riot with it. They drive fast, They drive on whichever lane that please them. They usually don’t wear helmets or keep their car windows down. How else would people know they own an awesome vehicle. What they don’t understand is that No one gives a shit.
3 . The “I just got a new Audio System” guy: The one thing that I give to these idiots is that they drive safe. You seldom see them going at above 30 kmph, and never do they drive rash. Reason? They have one Awesome audio system. Windows down, Sunshades on, some song with heavy bass, driving as slow as possible, a girls college. That’s as orgasmic as it gets for them. Well yea, they do look like douchebags doing it, but that’s beside the point.
4 . The “Why do vehicles have an indicator” guy: These are the most unpredictable guys on roads. One never knows when they start flailing their hand like a handicapped bird, and make that turn. It is extremely dangerous to follow them on roads. What makes them more dangerous is that they are like ninjas. They appear in front of you when least expected. When asked one of them about the use of indicators, this is what he had to say “Indicators are for sissies, I do it with my hands”. That’s not the only thing you will end up doing ONLY with your hands in your lifetime, is what I thought to myself. If you know what I mean.
5 . The incessant honker: There is one cycle in front of me, Let me Honk. There is a humongous traffic jam in front of me, Let me Honk. The Signal is red, Let me Honk. The signal is green, Well let me honk and let people know the signal is green. You never know, they might be colour blind. There is a No Horn signboard, Let me Honk. Oh wait, the lorry in front of me says “Horn OK Please”. Wohoooo.. Honkkkkkkkkkkk. Its 1 in the night and the roads are empty. I won’t honk. Just Kidding. Honkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. Scientific evidence suggests that the strongest part of the body for these idiots is the right thumb.